Popularity Contests

Ok - I rather liked being nominated for michaelnolan's book about blogging, but I just discovered rollick's anti-friend post with 1000s of responses. Most of whom are slamming on the nominees for the blog thingy. I'm loving that much more. I suppose I'm a bad person. Unfortunately I have yet to find my name. Have I not pissed off as many people as I thought?

And the werewolf episode of Buffy is in the background. Sigh. Cordelia is still a bitch. Angel is evil. Then it will be season 3 of Angel where Angel is a bitch and Cordelia is evil - and with her entire personality sucked out for season 3 and 4. Oh and speaking of which - did anyone watching Angel last week note that Charisma Carpenter really wanted to show off her post-pregnancy breasts throughout the show. Still a good episode.

Interesting

http://www.nypost.com/living/16950.htm

which talks about blogging but then becomes an advertisement for http://www.ljdrama.org

Dying and other occupational hazzards

If you think that you're just a little too happy with the world and need that kick to your natural optimism, look no farther than America's Most Wanted. I have not seen this show for years but I put it on last night and saw a story about a guy that married his ex-wife's sister and when faced with divorce murdered his son and his wife with a barbell. The show went into details about the first marriage, the seduction of the sister, the fist to the face when he taught her how to drive , the bad poetry he wrote in prison, the invitation to Christmas dinner - and then ended with a silhouette of the barbell going down smashing his sons head in and him moving menacingly to the wife. Oh yeah and the little remoted control car that the kid was playing with just stops. That's how they said the kid was dead.

The second story had the fucking wedding video with the wife saying how they were high school sweethearts and how everyone loved the guy's expressive paintings (they were ok paintings - but I wonder how much critical integrity is in Joe Walsh. I mean if the murderer of the first segment wrote good poetry and the victim of the second segment painted shitty paintings - would he really tell us? I think in the world of America's Most Wanted you can't be a criminal at large and a good artist at once) and then she got harrassed by some guy outside her apartment. The victim had the cab move back to confront the guy, said "what are you saying to my wife" and then got shot in the head. That one was lovely because it brings up the question of "what the hell are you supposed to do if a guy is holding a gun to your wife?" It's not like this guy has a concealed gun. He can't very well get close enough to the guy to spray him with pepper spray. So he says something vaguely threatening to scare the guy and gets a bullet for his troubles.

Of course both of these guys are still at large. You're pretty much safe from the first one unless you date assholes, but that second one is more like a random force of nature. YOu could get a flower pot dropped on your head. Some crack addict could shoot you. YOu could be riding on an airplane that some asshole decides to crash into a building. At least then you won't have to hear the pilot asking the Christians to tell you about Jesus.

And I really hate the term "pass away." Especially when it's used indiscrimately. Ok, if they put you in the hospice and you gasp out a couple of breaths before your eyes get big and wide and your family sits next to you until the nurse tells them that you're dead - yeah you passed away. If you are on the highway and someone drops a rock from a bridge and caves in your head - that's not passing away. If there's any screaming involved - or should be screaming involved - either on your part or the part of the poor shmuck standing next to you when the guy with the shot gun shoots you in the head from his dorm room (you know that doesn't happen these days. College and post office massacres were all the rage in the 80s) you can't say that you passed away.

(no subject)

Squirrels were fighting on my window. What the hell are the squirrels even doing outside. SHouldn't they be hiding out from the cold or something. Freaked out my cat but I think he could handle them. Squirrels are just big rats with fluffy tails after all.

Did it again

Went to Chaim and Yael's going away party. They are moving to Australia - probably becasue that's where her family lives and they probably want to see their grandson. He's finishing off his law school degree there. Had a good time but I felt very cut off. Actually when I was talking to Daniel Gepner we were both in that asocial mood so it was almost comedic in its awkwardness. Hi. Hi. How are you. Good. Good. And that's it. He's an old friend but small talk kills me.

Also that Felicia was there and I was doing the running across the room to avoid her. Not obvious. But I was eating these flaky kiwi and strawberry in creamcheese and a flaky shell things al through the party - thye were really good - except when she was near that table at which point I was many people away. This is stupid embarrassing. Don't even think I want to ask her out. I already talked to her, got her email address and corresponded a couple of times but nothing. It's not that. It's just...I don't know. Shyness gets to me at the wrong moments. I mean she's beautiful. She's smart. She's going to school to be a vet. It gets kind of intimidating and there was no alcohol in the place. I never got ahold of June either. Called her once. She said she would call me back. Left a few more messages throughout the next couple of months and then forgot about it. Rather frustrating.

All this and I'm leaving in six months. Damn. That sounds weird when I say it outright. Can't even fill out my FAFSA because I don't have that last record of interest paid from the student loans. I think they might be sending it out to the people that haven't kept putting it in forbearance - but I did pay on my student loans so there.

My problem now is that I'm thinking that I can't date anyone here because I'm just leaving for New York> I'm deluding myself into thinking that I'm going to automatically get over this shyness once I get to a place where you don't have to make quite the effort to introduce yourself to others. But it's going to be my same personality - my same awkward cynical personality that only really has to courage to hit on anyone when I'm drunk at Science Fiction Conventions.

Just thinking aloud. Well at least I'm not going with the "ladder theory" - one of the worst self-deceptions perpetrated by guys that aren't getting any.