Oh the family thing

It was pretty cool. I had enough beers to be sociable. I got in a conversation with a second cousin whose part Indian so he had lot of stories about his own Indian side of the family being fucked up (two cousins not related to me killed in nasty ways - one was a drug deal gone bad and the other a dating the girl with the abusive ex story) but he was cool and his dad is one of those relatives that tells the story of throwing me up in the air and hitting my head on the ceiling. Lovely. Uncle Larry said he dropped me on my head too. Either I'm just the weird kid and these cousins and uncles are trying to explain it or I had the clumsiest fucking babysitters on the planet.

SOnny kept telling circumcision jokes. I knew I should have wore the black yarmulke instead of the knitted one. ANd then I saw that his ring has fucking swatstikas and SS symbols (old Viking symbols -ja sure - since we're Hungarian) but he and Mom got along (they were childhood friends - they sold shoe polish out of the garbage together and Sonny killed Mom's doll with Uncle Herman's car - but they haven't spoken much lately)

And most of my other relations were a bit weirded out by me wearing the yarmulke (knitted so I had that Israeli look going) and carrying around a book entitled Porno as if it was on purpose (no, it was just a cool book - almost done. He's been keeping Renton and Begbie away from each other throughout but now it's the last 50 pages)

Creepy Memories or Why Teenagers Scare Me

When I was a kid - maybe around 14 or 15 I would look through the obituaries for girls between the ages of 16 and 25 who had just died. I figured that if their funerals weren't for a few days I could sneak into the morgue and take advantage since dead girls can't say no.

Funny thing is that I hate it when I find myself fucking a woman that just lies there.

I was less picky when I was 14 or 15.

In the summer between 7th and 8th grade I had that middle school year book and I marked the pictures of about 50 people - mostly with just X marks meaning that I wanted bad shit to happen to them (in retrospect they were going through puberty - does a broken ankle or an accidental decapitation really add much to the pain) but four I completely marked out because I wanted them to die. I remember that Nancy Ward had said she was going to Europe so I got all hopeful whenever I saw a plane crash (aggh - shouldn't say that - I'm flying into New York and out of New York at the end of July - I fucking hate flying. Scares the shit out of me - even though when you look at ljers4eternity none of those people have a last entry that goes "well I'm boarding the plane now. I'll get back on when I land." but there are plenty of "well I'm driving across country. I should be out of touch for a few days." last entries - but the cross country trip with Mom driving doesn't scare me - well not in that possibility of a bunch of "I didn't know you but sorry the truck ran over the rental car and groudn you into paste outside Buffalo" responses. More along the lines of being trapped in a car with a woman that I can't stand to be around for more than a half hour on my best days - I'll just have to sneak some Scotch when she's not looking - I'm not driving)

It wasn't that I was going to personally do any of them in. I just figured if G-d was just and all that, that Jesus could take them out on my behalf. Is that so wrong?

A side note - after the 10 year class reunion (I was SO FUCKING WASTED MAN - I had an awesome time - this next time I'll use the "What have you been doing for the last 15 years" section - fuck that's next Summer. FUcking hell. - to sell Teddy Bear Cannibal Massacre. I figure I set the pattern with my last entry which was a stoner's log - "today I fed my cats and went to work. That's it." the next one will have - Buy the fucking anthology already and oh yeah - anyone that wanted to fuck me in High School but were afraid to ask - now's your last chance before you're too old for me - because at the 25th reunion I'm hitting on your kids") ANYHOW after the 10 year reunion I actually emailed Nancy Ward because she missed it and I had that list of people I emailed a few of them to say hi. She sent me back an email that ended with "I knew you had a bad time in high school and I always thought that was wrong" - like bullshit lady, you made me miserable. But that was middle school. I had an ok time in high school.

So that's my necrophilia/slightly psycho tendencies entry for the week. And I got along quite well with everyone that I marked off by 9th grade on. It was just that whole "everyone hates me so I hate them too" thing going on. That and I was so damn horny and frustrated that I was actually half-seriously contemplating breaking into morgues.