How can you ruin WHEN A STRANGER CALLS????

I saw a bunch of movies this week and spent way too much money on books (I still have school books to buy but since I'm in the bookstore and spending money anyhow...I think you all know how this one works - I'm leaving my check card at home from now on) and I saw Tristam Shandy, Syriana and Brokeback Mountain in addition to When a Stranger Calls but that last one still irks me.

I mean I can chalk it up to the SPOOKY MUSIC blasting away throughout the movie. "Hey are you going to the party?" (DUDHDUDHDUDHDU) "No. I have to babysit." (SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH). "Oh that's too bad (DUDUDUDUDUDUDUDUDUDUDUDUDUDUUDUDUUD DU! DU! DU! DU!) "Well give me a call if you get to bored." (BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!) I'm not kidding. I arrived late because - well I snuck after Syriana - but I was still expecting more than that unmitigated shit. But yeah, I saw it from the time when her dad is driving her to the house and the SPOOKY MUSIC is accompanying them to the house. It's a beautiful house. Hell, the movie could double as architecture porn (one of the best descriptions of Merchant-Ivory movies ever) but that fucking music just won't give it a rest. So the hour spent before anyone even calls (it's a stranger by the way) is spent walking through the house. Checking all the lights. Examining the refrigerator.

By the time the killer calls he's not even saying "Have you checked the children." I think he's been silenced by the music. He might as well be going "well I have a line here, but I'll say it as soon as the music cuts off. Hello. Hello. Sorry I'll call back." And then when he does say "Have you checked the children" the stupid girl ACTUALLY CHECKS ON THE CHILDREN. And oh yeah, they're fine.

And it's not that I was expecting much. I saw the trailers that put this movie squarely in the post-Scream "Pretty Teenage Girl Lives" horror movies (you know the original Friday the 13th series had homely girls at the campout too. Well not homely, but it wasn't like every damn one of them was a model.) but you'd think a movie that has ONE stupid little thing going for it, would actually use that stupid little thing. Hell, just telling the story of the 70s movie for a little too long on a walk home makes a person turn on all their lights and check all the closets for hiding serial killers.

This movie just makes you want to break into that pretty house.

jaylake has provided the twisted link of the day

Life Lessons learned from patients on the ER.

I want to print it out and keep it for my records.

Well...could you resist posting it?

Well it works for brotherrabbit

Only two copies of Teddy Bear Cannibal left in stock.

Come on. Help me buy a sandwich in May.

Thanks farklebarkle, because it's the subtext that just makes i

The CD song, “Never Shake His Hand,” refers to never allowing yourself to entertain or play with temptation or evil, in this context pornography. Is it possible for a teen guy in our culture to stay away from it?

Steve: There is no doubt that young men in our culture are dealing with an unprecedented flow of accessible sexual material—even in the seemingly “safe” places. Commercials during football games, PG-13 movies, billboards, magazine ads…it’s everywhere. Current trends in girls’ fashions certainly don’t give guys a break either.

What’s a hot-blooded teenager with hormones raging through his body to do? First, he needs to make a commitment to God about the way he is going to live his life and also to make decisions about how to prevent temptation or what he will do when confronted with inappropriate sexual images before he sees them. Using the computer or TV in open areas of the home are decisions that will help. He needs to realize that every female on the planet is a precious creation of a Holy God who desires that she be treated with dignity—cherished and honored for who she is on the inside. He also needs to surround himself with friends and mentors who will reinforce good decisions and hold him accountable.

Think of it is this way. Don’t do anything you wouldn’t do if Jesus was sitting next to you—because He is.

Lastly, if you do slip up and “Shake His Hand,” remember that we serve a forgiving and redemptive God. You are a human being and human beings make mistakes. Come clean with God and with an accountability partner and move on. Don’t let guilt win out. The most important thing is to keep everything out in the light. That’s where the truth—and the freedom—is.

Ok I'm just not gonna comment. No. No. No. Not gonig to do it.

Yes

I thought Syriana was boring. I know that it's trying to make a case for the U.S. being run by oil companies who in turn fuck up good things. And yeah those poor kids. Big eyed children don't have very good survival prospects in BIG SERIOUS movies about BIG SERIOUS topics. They might as well be house pets in stalker movies. But geez, how many board meetings can the director force the audience to sit through before it's enough? I want to see the terrorists blowing stuff up, not the board of directors discussing their boring merger.

Geez.

Some good scenes and great acting (especially Alexander Siddig - who really could have been a sheik terrorist like he's accused of and the audience would have gone for it - maybe that would have made the movie interesting instead of him being the good guy whose just misunderstood) but wasted on a tedious retread of Crash, Traffic and all the rest of the driving movies.

Lord of War rocks though.

This is still great stuff...

If you're a 13 year old girl with a long arm, fiberglass cast on it's totally OK to go swimming at the beach (she didn't even try the usless bag with duct tape trick). When your dripping, sand filled cast starts to itch be sure to use a bent coat hanger to pull out all the cast padding. Since that won't work (I swear I'm not making this up) go ahead and pour salt down the cast on the assumption that it will soak up the water. Once your arm is a red, macerated mess come on down to the ED.
Aside from the stupidity of this course of action this girl also had a weird affect so I asked if she was developmentally delayed. This thoroughly annoyed the girl and her mother but the dad said, "Well I can see why you might think that but no."

I almost posted one of the self-circumcision entries up on weirdjews2 but I decided to be tactful today.