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12. No One Left to Fight by Aubrey Sitterson, Fico Ossio & Taylor Esposito - Who the fuck are these people? Seriously, who the fuck are these people? This whole fucking book is written as if it had a superfan audience member in mind the whole time so when one character is dying and another character won't stop having bullshit temper tantrums over not getting the credit he deserves, you're supposed to feel like this is based on a long back story. The back cover says that it's for any fans of Dragon Ball, so I wanted to think that they were Dragon Ball characters but I don't think they were.
It's like that fucking Veronica Mars movie that had so much fan service no one who hadn't watched every season repeatedly and obsessively was lost. There were articles on why it matters that Weevil gets arrested and let loose and why that one non-entity boyfriend is at the beginning only to be swiftly dumped enroute to her hometown. I was a fan of the series. I posted so many links and sent so many clips to people hoping that they got excited for it that I should have been the target market, but I was lost. I had to look up the VM wiki to find out that the murder victim was the same one that accused the teacher of getting her pregnant in season 1 or 2. And then that spoiled the whole movie for me (the fact that Martin Starr was in the thing acting like everyone knew him was already the Law & Order celebrity-is-killer spoiler).
Unlike Veronica Mars, there's nothing before this fucking graphic novel. It's just five issues of a lot of characters with backstories that you are going to find out about through exposition and "hey remember when we..." dialogue. But that doesn't replace story telling. So when the big hero from the war with monsters visits the married couple, we are supposed to sympathize with the husband being a fucking rage monster over his kids liking Vale better. When they visit their old master, the woman hitting on Vale is supposed to be an emotional beat but it's an awkward "well let's be friends" conversation. But so what? And then they fight the final boss and the wife steps up - hero moment - but who the fuck is she? She's just there and then she's a hero because the plot calls for it. Then the last part states that Vale is dying. So please ask your comic book store to order many copies so we can keep this fucking bullshit comic going.
The art is cool though.
13. Scarlett's Strike Force by Aubrey Sitterson, Daniel & Kyriazis - GI JOE!!!!! Fighting stuff!!! With Transfomers because we got toys to sell. Whole thing is a big mess. I don't remember what happens. I don't care what happens. It's just a lot of flexing and OMG look at the toys. Boring.
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It's like that fucking Veronica Mars movie that had so much fan service no one who hadn't watched every season repeatedly and obsessively was lost. There were articles on why it matters that Weevil gets arrested and let loose and why that one non-entity boyfriend is at the beginning only to be swiftly dumped enroute to her hometown. I was a fan of the series. I posted so many links and sent so many clips to people hoping that they got excited for it that I should have been the target market, but I was lost. I had to look up the VM wiki to find out that the murder victim was the same one that accused the teacher of getting her pregnant in season 1 or 2. And then that spoiled the whole movie for me (the fact that Martin Starr was in the thing acting like everyone knew him was already the Law & Order celebrity-is-killer spoiler).
Unlike Veronica Mars, there's nothing before this fucking graphic novel. It's just five issues of a lot of characters with backstories that you are going to find out about through exposition and "hey remember when we..." dialogue. But that doesn't replace story telling. So when the big hero from the war with monsters visits the married couple, we are supposed to sympathize with the husband being a fucking rage monster over his kids liking Vale better. When they visit their old master, the woman hitting on Vale is supposed to be an emotional beat but it's an awkward "well let's be friends" conversation. But so what? And then they fight the final boss and the wife steps up - hero moment - but who the fuck is she? She's just there and then she's a hero because the plot calls for it. Then the last part states that Vale is dying. So please ask your comic book store to order many copies so we can keep this fucking bullshit comic going.
The art is cool though.
13. Scarlett's Strike Force by Aubrey Sitterson, Daniel & Kyriazis - GI JOE!!!!! Fighting stuff!!! With Transfomers because we got toys to sell. Whole thing is a big mess. I don't remember what happens. I don't care what happens. It's just a lot of flexing and OMG look at the toys. Boring.
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